Blog #49: My 2011 Movie Awards!

Okay, so I had some time today, and thought, I’ve got a preview coming out of next year’s movies, as I did last year, so why not do a summation of everything from this past year?  So, I decided to do my own movie awards.  I know.  You’re completely under whelmed.  But what the heck?  I’m going to do it anyway. 🙂

I couldn’t pick one winner in some character, so I listed the runner-ups to the winner at #1.  Keep this in mind, these are based only on the 50 movies I saw *this year* that came out *this year*.  Here’s a list for your reference, and then on to the awards!

The fifty movies I saw this year:

The Adjustment Bureau
The Adventures of Tintin
Battle: Los Angeles
Captain America: The First Avenger
Cars 2
Colombiana
The Company Men
Conan the Barbarian
Contagion
Cowboys & Aliens
Drive Angry 3D
The Eagle
Fast Five
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Green Hornet
Green Lantern
The Hangover Part II
Hanna
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Hugo
I Am Number Four
Immortals
Kung Fu Panda 2
The Lincoln Lawyer
The Mechanic
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Moneyball
The Muppets
Paul
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Priest
Puss In Boots
Rango
Real Steel
Red Riding Hood
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Sanctum
Season of the Witch
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Source Code
Sucker Punch
Super 8
Thor
The Three Musketeers
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1
Unknown
War Horse
X-Men: First Class
Your Highness

Let’s start off with the miscellaneous awards.  Some of these are serious and some are…less so. 🙂

Best Impersonation of a Movie by Another Movie: Battle: Los Angeles Impersonating Independence Day  [It wasn’t bad, but come on; they didn’t even try to make it different.]

Best Performance by an Actress for Not Acting in a Movie: Megan Fox (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)

Best Shrunken Head: Chris Evans as Captain America (Captain American: The First Avengers)

Best Crazy Person: Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)

Movie That Produced the Most Tears: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2  [*sniff*]

Best Use of Slow Motion on Gods: Immortals

Best Sports Movie: Moneyball

Best Resurrection of a Franchise: The Muppets

Best and Worst Performance by One Actor: Seth Rogen as Paul (Paul) and Birtt Reid / The Green Hornet (The Green Hornet)

Best Innuendos: Puss in Boots

Best Quote: “Years from now they’re going to ask us, ‘where were you when they took over the planet?’ We’re gonna say, ‘we just stood by and watched’.” – John Turturro as Seymour Simmons (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)

Best Rocky Impersonation: Real Steel

Best Reboot: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Movie I Loved Most That Everyone Else Hated: Season of the Witch

Best Splitting Open of Your Enemy’s Head: Optimus Prime Splitting Open Megatron’s Head

Most Pointless: Sucker Punch  [I still don’t know what the point was…]

Super 8: Best Performance by Young Actors: Joel Courtney as Joe Lamb and Elle Fanning as Alice Dainard (Super 8)

Most Wasted Potential: The Three Musketeers  [So bad…]

Most Predictable: War Horse

Best Special Effects: Transformers: Dark of the Moon  [As if I needed to tell you that…]

Best Crude Jokes: Your Highness

Best Voiceover: Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime (Transformers Dark of the Moon)

Best Trio Not Named Harry, Ron and Hermione: Ray Stevenson as Volstagg, Tadanobu Asano as Hogun, and Josh Dallas as Fandral (Thor)

Worst Trio: Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, and Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)

Best Performance of a C-Section Without a Scalpel: Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)

Best Portrayal of a Corpse: Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)  [That might be the best performance as a corpse of all time.]

Most Inappropriate Imprinting: Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)  [Yeah…I don’t know.]

Most Devoid of Emotion: Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)  [In my next post, you’ll wonder why I’m so worried about Snow White and the Huntsman.]

Most Brooding: Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)

Most Shirtless: Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)  [I think Jacob needs therapy for this problem.]

Worst Love Triangle: Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, and Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)  [That Edward Jacob sexual tension is building.  :-)]

Okay, I think that’s enough shots at Twilight.  (Well…maybe not.)

Best Hero:

5. Atom (Real Steel)
4. Chris Evans as Captain America (Captain America: The First Avenger)
3. Chris Hemsworth as Thor (Thor)
2. Dan Radcliffe as Harry Potter (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2)
1. Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)

Worst Hero:

5. Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern (Green Lantern)
4. Logan Lerman as D’Artagnan (The Three Musketeers)  [Oh god, the hair.]
3. Jay Chou as Kato (The Green Hornet)
2. Johnny Depp as Rango / Lars (Rango)
1. Seth Rogen as Britt Reid / The Green Hornet (The Green Hornet)

Best Heroine:

5. Salma Hayek as Kitty Softpaws (Puss In Boots)
4. Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter (Captain America: The First Avenger)
3. Julie Walters as Molly Weasley (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2)  [“Not my daughter, you bitch!”]
2. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly Spencer (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)
1. Emma Watson as Hermione Granger (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2)

Worst Heroine:

5. Amanda Seyfried as Valeria (Red Riding Hood)
4. Saoirse Ronan as Hanna (Hanna)
3. Zoe Saladna as Cataleya (Colombiana)
2. Emily Browning as Babydoll (Sucker Punch)
1. Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)

Best Villain:

5. Hugo Weaving as The Red Skull (Captain America: The First Avenger)
4. Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw (X-Men: First Class)
3. Tom Hiddleston as Loki (Thor)
2. Hugo Weaving as Megatron (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)
1. Ralph Fiennes as Loird Voldemort (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2)

Worst Villain:

5. Christoph Waltz as Cardinal Richelieu (The Three Musketeers)  [He is way to good an actor to do this movie.]
4. The Cave (Sanctum)
3. MEV-1 Virus (Contagion)
2. Billy Burke as Cesaire (Red Riding Hood)
1. Kevin Durand as Mogadorian Commander (I Am Number Four)

Best Couple:

5. Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots and Salma Hayek as Kitty Softpaws (Puss In Boots)
4. Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy (The Muppets)
3. Natalie Portman as Jane Foster and Chris Hemsworth as Thor (Thor)
2. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly Spencer and Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky (Transformers: Dark of the Moon)
1. Emma Watson as Hermione Granger and Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2)

Worst Couple:

5. Zoe Saldana as Cataleya and Michael Vartan as Danny Delanay (Colombiana)
4. Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan / Green Lantern and Blake Lively as Carol Ferris (Green Lantern)
3. Amanda Seyfried as Valerie and Shiloh Fernandez as Peter (Red Riding Hood)
2. Matthew Macfadyen as Athos and Milla Jovovich as Milady de Winter (The Three Musketeers)
1. Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, and Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1)

Best Sidekick: Jude Law as Dr. John Watson (Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows)

Worst Sidekick: Jay Chou as Kato (The Green Hornet)

Best Actor: Dan Radcliffe as Harry Potter (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2)

Best Actor Honorable Mention: James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier (X-Men: First Class)

Worst Actor: Jason Statham as Arthur Bishop (The Mechanic)

Best Actress: Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)

Best Actress Honorable Mention: Emma Watson as Hermione Granger (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2)

Worst Actress: Emily Browning as Babydoll (Sucker Punch)

Best Supporting Actor: Alan Rickman as Severus Snape (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2)

Best Supporting Actor Honorable Mention: Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson (Thor)

Worst Supporting Actor: Logan Lerman as D’Artagnan (The Three Musketeers)

Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Lawrence as Raven / Mystique (X-Men: First Class)

Best Supporting Actress Honorable Mention: Kat Dennings as Darcy Lewis (Thor)

Worst Supporting Actress: Abbie Cornish as Sweet Pea, Jena Malone as Rocket, Vanessa Hudgens as Blondie, and, Jamie Chung as Amber (Sucker Punch)

Most Anticipated Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Least Anticipated Movie: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Most Original Movie:

3. Moneyball
2. The Adjustment Bureau
1. Source Code

Least Original Movie:

3. Battle: Los Angeles
2. Colombiana
1. The Mechanic

Movie Most in Need of Sequel (That was not going to automatically get one.): Source Code

Best Final Sequel Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Best Non Sequel Movie: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Worst Non-Sequel Movie: Sanctum

Best Sequel Movie: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Best Sequel Movie Honorable Mention: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Worst Sequel Movie: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Most Memorable Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Most Forgettable Movie: Sanctum

Most Surprising Movie: Source Code

Most Disappointing Movie: The Three Musketeers

Best Comedy Movie: Paul

Best Comedy Movie Honorable Mention: Your Highness

Worst Comedy Movie: Rango

Best Action Movie: Transformers Dark of the Moon

Worst Action Movie: The Mechanic

Best Animated Movie: Puss in Boots

Worst Animated Movie: Rango

Best Fantasy Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Worst Fantasy Movie: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Best Realistic Fiction Movie: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Worst Realistic Fiction Movie: Sanctum

Best Comic Book Movie: X-Men: First Class

Worst Comic Book Movie: Sucker Punch

Best Sci-Fi Movie: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Worst Sci-Fi Movie: I am Number Four

The final categories!

Best Movies of the Year:

12. Source Code
11. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
10. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
9. Moneyball
8. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
7. Real Steel
6. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
5. Captain America: The First Avenger
4. Thor
3. X-Men: First Class
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Worst Movies of the Year:

10. War Horse
9. The Company Men
8. Rango
7. Hanna
6. I Am Number Four
5. The Mechanic
4. Sucker Punch
3. The Three Musketeers
2. Sanctum
1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Thanks for reading!

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About lmb3

I’m 36 years old, and I work in network tech support for a public school system. I am a huge fan of Star Trek, Transformers, Harry Potter, and Marvel Comics as well as numerous other fandoms. I’m a big sports fan, especially the Boston Red Sox and the New England Patriots. I collect toys (mostly Transformers but other stuff too), comic books, and Red Sox baseball cards. I watch an obscene amount of television and love going to the movies. I am hopelessly addicted to Wizard Rock and I write Harry Potter Fanfiction, though these days I am working on a couple of different original YA novels.
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