Transformers: EarthSpark Tacticons Wave 1 (Bumblebee, Megatron, Optimus Prime)

Tacticons are essentially transforming finger puppets. You read that right. Someone at Hasbro should be fired for green lighting these. You squeeze the back on the vehicle to make them transform, and it pushes your finger up behind their legs so they stick on your finger like a puppet. Small problem with that. As you can see on the package they transform backwards. Instead of having the front of the figure facing the same direction as your palm, it faces the opposite way. At least, to me that is backwards. The vehicle modes are kind of fun, but the robot modes suck.

Bumblebee

Bumblebee’s face sculpt makes him look disgusted to have suffered the ignominy of being a Tacticon.

Megatron

A Megatron without a fusion cannon is not a Megatron at all. Plus he looks like Namor reimagined as a transformer with those copter blades on his feet.

Optimus Prime

Of the three, I suppose Optimus Prime is the least horrible. That’s like trying to decide which of Trump’s three oldest children is the least horrible. None of them are worth the time to consider it.

Overall: Tacticons are plastic diarrhea. To give one to a child is to tell that child that they are unloved and worthy only of sadness and despair.

Thanks for reading!