Transformers Generation One Headmaster Shuffler

“Only the worthy find the grail.” – Robert Langdon, The Da Vinci Code

Yes, I know. I’ve used that quote before, and Primus willing, I will be using it again. “Worthy” is overstating it, but when you’ve acquired one of the Holy Grails on your want list I think you’re entitled to be a little dramatic. This one is especially meaningful to me, as it is the last completely unique G1 Japanese toy I needed (not including certain merchandise items that could be considered toys). Without further ado, behold…

Shuffler was one of six Headmaster heads without bodies released in Japan. Transforming into an elephant, he is one of the rarest G1 toys. Be careful if you’re looking to buy one as there are knockoffs, but real ones have the Takara stamping. Shuffler is very cool. There are very few elephant Transformers, and his rarity and how long I’ve been trying to get one, only make having him sweeter.

Shuffler comes with a bit of a story. I was almost unable to buy Shuffler. The Giant Orange Asshole currently squatting in the White House, failed businessman, convicted felon, two-bit conman, moron, and the Pedophile in Chief of the United States, old Donnie Dip Shit nearly cost me my prize. How? Well, I was watching Shuffler on eBay and when I had the cash, I went to make an offer only to realize the seller in Canada said they did not ship to the USA. So I contacted them and found out that the Canadian Post Office at that time would not ship to the USA unless you had a business account due to the incompetent bat shit crazy policies of that the Orange Orangutan with a Perpetually Overfull Diaper. The seller did not have a postal business account, so I asked if there was another shipping service they could use. Turned out UPS shipping was only $17, so I made my offer, negotiated a price, and bought my prize. Then as luck would have it, UPS got it into the country faster than I imagined possible, getting through customs the day before the de minimis exemption ended so I did not get fucked on the tariffs. So, the Great Orange Ignoramus did not screw me over. Pity so many other people have not been so lucky. When that pile of garbage finally drops dead, I eagerly await the cause of death so I can drink a toast to whatever malady removes that shit stain from existence and makes the world a better place.

Thanks for reading!